PhD Michigan State University
All tribes and ethnic groups either try to understand each other and live together in peace and harmony or they fail to understand each other which often leads to conflict or war. This course will help us understand better how to communicate across the generational cultures, across husband-wife cultures and across the cultures of nationalities. Cross-cultural specialist Duane Elmer gives practical advice for serving other cultures with sensitivity and humility. He shows how our actions and attitudes often contradict and offend the local culture. He offers principles and guidance for avoiding misunderstandings and building relationships in ways that honor others. Filled with real-life illustrations and practical exercises, this course will helps you communicate effectively, avoid cultural faux pas and establish trust. Duane Elmer shares stories about various types of conflict and shows how they can be handled effectively and appropriately. Businesspeople and missionaries, teachers and students, husbands and wives, anyone who wants to communicate more effectively with people from other cultures, will find this course immensely helpful.
- 1
1. Introduction. The Monkey 'Serves' the Fish
This is a short introduction to a cross-cultural communication course taught by Duane and Muriel Elmer. All of us are products of our cultureal heritage, which dictates how we see the world and how we interact with the world. We tend to think that everyone else sees and interacts with the world the way we do. It is most important to remember that each of us acts consistently with our culture, but caution must be taken not to judge quickly just because people are different. In this session D.H. Elmer: gives an example of misunderstanding to illustrate how a simple gesture can miscommunicate; reads from the Old Testament prophet Isaiah and emphasises two important points; reads a parable about a monkey and a fish and invites the students to share their thoughts and observations. - 2
2. Fitting into Another Culture.
When you leave the comfort of your own culture and enter another, you don't leave your cultural baggage behind; you take it with you. You become the proverbial square peg in a round hole. At this point you can maintain your squareness, or you can choose to adjust and identify more with your host culture. In this session professor Duane H. Elmer: uses a chart to demonstrate the adjustment process of fitting into the culture; talks about the messages people who care or don't care to adjust to a new situation send to the local people; explains what people tend to do when they experience differences; invites the students to share their thoughts about culture shock. - 3
3. The Cultural Adjustment Map.
Whenever you are travelling to a new place, a map is a good idea. The same is true when entering a new culture. In this lecture you will be introduced to the Cultural Adjustment map created by a group of people experienced in cross-cultural travel and adjustment. Muriel Elmer invites you to look at that map as having two roads the upper track, beginning with an approach of openness, acceptance and trust, and the lower road, beginning with an approach of fear, suspicion and inflexibility. People tend to flip-flop between the upper and lower roads many times during their cross-cultural experience. In this session M. Elmer: tells a story about the Masai warrior who spit on her son's head three times; explains how to use the Cultural Adjustment map; asks students to think about the differences they expect to encounter in a new culture; emphasizes the importance of choices we make when we have negative feelings. - 4
4. Effective cross-cultural worker.
What kinds of people do a good job in another culture? What qualities and characteristics does a person need to have to be an effective cross-cultural worker? Muriel Elmer thinks that it is very important to find out these qualities, for if we know these personal characteristics we'll be able to help people to develop them. In this session M. Elmer: asks the students to make a list of qualities that help a person to do well in another culture; shares the results of the research study which was done by the Canadian government; looks at leading interpersonal skills and defines each of them; answers the students' questions. - 5
5. Communication model.
In this session you will look at the communication model which will help you to understand various pieces of communication. In order for us to send messages and receive messages without misunderstanding all essential parts of the model should function together. Duane H. Elmer shares a story when his wife's desire to serve him with his favourite breakfast was misinterpreted and badly handled by him. He uses that situation to show the complexity of cross-cultural communication, when people don't know cultural history of other people they can feel rejected and misunderstood. - 6
6. Negative attribution theory.
We usually communicate from our own frame of reference. We act out of our cultural heritage and it seems natural. Our culture can be male or female, old or young, parent or child and different ethnicities or races. In this session Duane Elmer: shares a story about the anniversary gift which completely missed Muriel's frame of reference and the cultural heritage and caused her pain; warns about jumping to conclusions when we don't understand another person's frame of reference; explains where the frame of reference comes from; talks about the results of research on how long it takes people to understand that they could become friends; uses illustrations to explain the negative attribution theory; gives an important principle which will save you from embarrassment and hurt feelings. - 7
7. The Test.
In this session Muriel Elmer is going to give you a little test which is called 'The Story'. All you have to do is to read the story and answer if the statements based on the story are true, false or questionable. This activity illustrates that different people will give different answers just because they jump to conclusions and make assumptions based on what they read. In this session M. Elmer invites students to think about ways to avoid making hasty judgement as it is very important in another culture and then finishes with a funny newspaper story. - 8
8. Cultural differences. Introduction.
In this introductory session about cultural differences Duane H. Elmer: shares a quotation from 'Miracle of Dialogue' which had influenced him and caused him to ponder about what was involved in human relations; shares his experience as a peacemaker; points out that in the matter of cultural differences, differences often cause problems; asks students to answer the question 'Which is the greater sin: to tell a lie or to lose your temper?'; asks students to solve a cultural puzzle and make a decision; asks students to share what he would need to know if he decided to live in Russia. - 9
9. Cultural differences. Western vs Majority World. Part I
In this session you are going to learn about cultural differences and some categories which will help you to identify them. When you look at cultural differences from the western perspective you divide the world into western values and the majority world values. In this session Duane H. Elmer: compares the western culture and the majority world culture by using categories of communication, community, attitude to foreigners and logic; tells a story about an interpreter and the importance of non-verbal communication in the majority world; explains the idea of losing face and how to avoid causing it; draws pictures on the board to show the difference between the linear logic and circular or spiral logic. - 10
10. Cultural differences. Western vs Majority World. Part II
In this session you are going to continue learning about the way people communicate in western culture and in the majority world culture. After sharing additional thoughts on the category of logic Duane H. Elmer: takes a closer look at such categories as conflict, conduct, reality; goes back to the story about Eunice and explains why she used passive voice instead of active voice; shows that reality is defined differently in the western world and the majority world and uses interesting illustrations about the ill spirits. - 11
11. Conflict management. Introduction.
Undertanding and handling conflict with greater wisdom should minimize or prevent the damaging effects of broken relationships. Duane H. Elmer thinks that we need to reconsider the biblical teaching on the unity of God's people and how it reflects His glory and affects the carrying out of his mission in this world. Repeatedly, the Bible declares unity to be an important value, worth pouring our energies into and worth fighting for. In this session D.H. Elmer:quotes J. Downs who thinks that we judge others' behavior by our own standards;asks students to identify causes of conflicts; explains why handling conflicts is so difficult; looks at several biblical passages and helps us to realize that the glory of God is revealed through our living together in unity. - 12
12. Conflict management. Observation and assumption regarding conflict.
The large majority of conflicts resulting in brokenness are caused neither by core theological values being threatened nor by overt sin. Most conflicts that disrupt our lives grow out of innocent misunderstanding, unmet expectations, failure to get all the facts or minor irritations that become problems. In this session Duane H. Elmer shares his observations to remind us how important it is to deal effectively with conflicts. - 13
13. Conflict management. Observation and assumption regarding conflict.
A healthy approach to understanding and managing conflict is a good beginning to cross-cultural relationships. Conflict resolution has been explored by many researchers and writers in recent years. In this session Duane H. Elmer:gives the definition of conflict;looks at the dynamics of handling conflict;summarizes five ways most Westerners handle conflict;gives some illustrations to demonstrate how to resolve conflicts. - 14
14. Passive-agressive behaviour.
In this session D.H. Elmer tells a story about the father who always chose win-win strategy in dealing with his daughters. The girls couldn't reject their father so they took a passive-agressive approach. They gave the appearance that they were doing what was expected of them, but underneath they were fighting to protect their ego and they were angry because their father was destroying their personality. Deceiving the authority figure is the only way to survive. You will learn how the passive-agressive strategy works and how you could intervene and prevent young people from becoming monsters of revenge. - 15
15. Indirect approach to conflict resolution.
Do other cultures use different styles of conflict management? If so, why? What cultural values support other ways of handling conflict? Do these styles find biblical support? In this session Duane H. Elmer:gives some situations and asks students to tell him how to handle them and see if they understand the majority world's style of conflict resolution;talks about the role of a mediator in handling conflict;shows how the one-down position can help to have peaceful resolution;explains how stories and parables are used to solve conflicts indirectly. - 16
16. The need for forgiveness.
Forgiveness is the decision that is the act of the will. It is not an easy decision but is important in dealing with anybody who has anger. In this session Duane H. Elmer:talks about anger and the way it is expressed;explains how anger can affect people mentally, emotionally and physiologically;emphasizes that forgiveness is the only way of dealing with anger permanently;tells stories about forgiveness;shares his experience in dealing with memories that keep coming back. - 17
17. Communication principles for conflict resolution.
Duane H. Elmer devotes this session to a study of an episode from the book of Joshua which illustrated a Biblical model of successful conflict resolutionHe wants to share eight important principles for communication and show the effects of the strategy which brought understanding, reconciliation and peace. D.H. Elmer walks his listeners through the events of Joshua 22 and encourages them to think the best about the person than assuming the worst. - 18
18. Pilgrimage to Servanthood. Openness.
Many missionaries may be well intentioned, dedicated and wanting to serve, but also naive and in some denial about what it means to serve in another culture. Servanthood must be intentional because it is not natural. We are inclined to serve others from our own frame of reference, but then it is perceived as superiority. Servanthood is a conscious effort to choose one direction and one set of values over another. The first principle of servanthood is openness. Openness is the ability to welcome people into your presence and make them feel safe. - 19
19. Pilgrimage to Servanthood. Acceptance.
Acceptance sounds like a passive word, but in the biblical sense acceptance is proactive, dynamic and assertive. Acceptance is the ability to communicate value, regard, worth and esteem to the other person. In this session Duane H. Elmer:explains on what basis we accept people; quotes J. Calvin about the importance of knowing who we are;shares a profound thought of C.S. Lewis that there are no neutral interactions;gives an illustration based on his street ministry about the need to cultivate God's perspective on people;reads Romans 15:5-7 to explain what Christ's acceptance means;points out biblical concepts and primary skills connected with acceptance. - 20
20. Pilgrimage to Servanthood. Trust.
Relationships travel best over strong bridges of trust. Trust is the ability to build confidence in a relationship so that both parties believe the other will not intentionally hurt them but will act in their best interest. In this session Duane H. Elmer:points out biblical concepts and primary skills connected with trust; uses effective illustrations to explain that trust is fragile;reflects on what to do when trust is broken;shows a series of cartoons about Snoopy who wants to build trust with the cat and discusses his efforts with students. - 21
21. Pilgrimage to Servanthood. Learning.
Learning comes after openness, acceptance and trust because important learning doesn't happen between people until there is trust and they have confidence that friendship is moving along nicely. Learning is the ability to glean information about and from other people. In this session Duane H. Elmer: explains how to generate questions to learn more; reflects on difficulties that people who transfer from one culture to another have;dwell on the biblical concepts of common grace and the priesthood of all believers;shares ready-to-implement practical applications. - 22
22. Pilgrimage to Servanthood. Understanding and Serving.
Understanding is the ability to see patterns of behavior and underlying values that reveal the integrated wholeness and integrity of a person and a people. Serving is the ability to relate to people in such a way that their dignity as human beings is affirmed and they are more empowered to live their lives in God glorifying ways. In this session Duane H. Elmer: talks about biblical concepts and primary skills related to understanding and serving;comes back to the stories about the flight attendant and the problem with his lazy sons;invites the students to discuss the message of a picture of two men exchanging glasses;shows how all the steps of pilgrimage to servanthood work backwards;shares the biblical principles from Mathew 20:25-28."